Today

It is absolutely the most difficult thing to see others hurting around me. People do not understand that I can feel their pain. I feel drawn to people who are hurting. My heart's desire is to see them built up strong, happy, smiling and I literally feel my heart sink without them even saying a word. I have always been able to discern the atmosphere. It is an incredibly difficult thing. Now I have to learn to feel and not show that I feel, or better put feel and not respond. Which is a huge step because I used to feel and act as though it was me because that is how real someone else's spirit feels to me. I have to get to the point where I allow people to express themselves and not feel obligated to help them. I am so used to trying to carry people that I end up hurting myself. I have done this over and over again. Another thing that I hope will come soon is an understanding of what I feel and why. I know why this is applicable in the church but I don't understand why I can feel people everywhere at any given time. How does this help me and what should I do with it? This is truly a rhetorical question. I just wish that everything would turn off during my time of transition and change.